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Literature
Why Earth Ponies Are S#!t - Script
The pony racial debates have become heated in recent years. So many wayward souls forget about the harmony and amity that should unite us and instead focus on asinine racial questions that engender only discord and enmity. Which race is superior? Why do unicorns tolerate pegasi? Why do earth ponies smell so bad?
Well my little ponies, I am here to elevate this discourse to a Hole Nutha Level. Today, in this video, I will prove to you without a shadow of a doubt that earth ponies are not only the most inferior of all pony races, but they are also complete and utter shit.
Wait! Before y’all rear up and try to buck me in the head, hear me out, please? I think you’ll find my argument quite persuasive.
As portrayed in the Season 2 episode Hearth’s Warming Eve and in the book Journal of the Two Sisters by Amy Keating Rogers, each race is imbued with its own particular magic. Earth ponies have an innate ability to grow things, pegasi can fly and control the weather, and unic
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Literature
How To Wrap a Present Corpulently - Script
Wearing holiday sweater, with mug of some beverage which I am caught sipping at the beginning of the video in front of me. Christmas tree in back, dark outside to provide better contrast. Music: maybe something silly like crusader theme or the veldt FF song, or possibly some free Christmas music
Oh, hello everypony, Corpulent Brony here! Today I'm going to show all of you socially inept brony loser- I mean, all you beautiful wonderful people how to properly and professionally wrap a gift.
In order to wrap a present you must first acquire one.
Some of the more prosperous like to buy their gifts,Shot of me dressed up and speaking all hoitey toitey with large roll of money.
others with more talent make gifts.Shot of me trying and failing miserably to make something
I prefer giving things I own away, it's super classy and is a great way to recycle those items that you no longer really want.Go through junk drawer or something, muttering to myself, "where that thing b
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Literature
Script for The End of FiM As We Know It
we met under a nightmare moon, as the mysterious mare in the moon descended to earth. we all became friends and saved the day from eternal night, reuniting our princess with her long lost sister.  together with twilight sparkle, mother faust showed us that, as corny as it may sound, friendship might actually be magical.
and that magic culminated in the best night ever, where we realized that the best laid plans of mice and ponies often go awry, but sometimes for the best.  as long as we're together.
we met again to save equestria from the wiles of a chaotic demon.  though at first discouraged, we witness Twilight inspiring her friends to hope again, thus bringing about a return of harmony.
we then gathered with a reluctant Twilight to witness the wedding of her (unbeknownst to us) brother with the literal princess of love.  of course, this canterlot wedding was a sham, and though Twilight and her friends fought courageously to fend off the evil changelings, in the e
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Thumbnail for The End of FiM As We Know It by CorpulentBrony Thumbnail for The End of FiM As We Know It :iconcorpulentbrony:CorpulentBrony 3 3
Literature
Script for Princess McFlurry Sauce - MLP Season 6
THE SHOW’S OVER, GO HOME FOLKS!
       Well, the premiere of season 6 just aired.  That was...a thing.  I took new show editor Josh Haber’s advice and went into it with low expectations, and...still was disappointed.  Alright, I don’t want to shit on the show that I really do love so much, so let me begin with the positive.
       With the return of Starlight Glimmer as Twilight Sparkle’s new pupil, the show is actually turning a new corner.  The show feels significantly different.  Perhaps this is a good thing, as new life and possibilities are brought into the mix.  Oh Celestia who am I kidding, my waifu is being replaced by the flavor of the week.  More than half of the episode focused on “Glim Glam,” making this the first premiere or finale that focused on a specific character that wasn’t Twilight Sparkle.  
       To add ins
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Thumbnail for Princess McFlurry Sauce - MLP Season by CorpulentBrony Thumbnail for Princess McFlurry Sauce - MLP Season :iconcorpulentbrony:CorpulentBrony 1 0 Sad Twi by CorpulentBrony
Mature content
Sad Twi :iconcorpulentbrony:CorpulentBrony 3 6
I mek POst by CorpulentBrony I mek POst :iconcorpulentbrony:CorpulentBrony 0 0 The Cutie Re-Mark - Pony Palaver with The Marefrie by CorpulentBrony The Cutie Re-Mark - Pony Palaver with The Marefrie :iconcorpulentbrony:CorpulentBrony 1 2 The Hooffields and McColts - Pony Palaver Thumbnai by CorpulentBrony The Hooffields and McColts - Pony Palaver Thumbnai :iconcorpulentbrony:CorpulentBrony 1 0 Thumbnail for Hearthbreakers - Pony Palaver by CorpulentBrony Thumbnail for Hearthbreakers - Pony Palaver :iconcorpulentbrony:CorpulentBrony 0 0 Amending Fences - A Corpulent Analysis Thumbnail by CorpulentBrony Amending Fences - A Corpulent Analysis Thumbnail :iconcorpulentbrony:CorpulentBrony 2 2
Literature
Amending Fences - A Corpulent Analysis Script
Amending Fences - A Corpulent Analysis
Written by Corpulent Brony
 It’s Spring of ‘99, pretty late at night, on a dark road [sound of car on road].  My prom date sits next to me as I drive her home in my mom’s Thunderbird.  I think she’s been interested in me, she’ll probably even let me kiss her if I try, but I haven’t really found myself attracted to her.  My mind was still on another girl, 3,000 miles away, and my plans to move there almost immediately after graduating in a few months.  [pomp and circumstance]
 I stop at a light, and speak with her a bit. [brakes, car noise stops]  I’m getting ready to make a right hand turn [blinker noises], but then decide last minute that going straight would be quicker.  Oncoming traffic from the left was clear, so in my head I was good to go.  I hit the gas and realize
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Mature content
Slice of Life - A Corpulent Analysis Script :iconcorpulentbrony:CorpulentBrony 2 0
Slice of Life - A Corpulent Analysis Thumbnail by CorpulentBrony Slice of Life - A Corpulent Analysis Thumbnail :iconcorpulentbrony:CorpulentBrony 3 0 Slice of Life - Pony Palaver with Mr. Dino Thumbna by CorpulentBrony Slice of Life - Pony Palaver with Mr. Dino Thumbna :iconcorpulentbrony:CorpulentBrony 2 0

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34 inch Twilight Sparkle plush by brackens 34 inch Twilight Sparkle plush :iconbrackens:brackens 15 4 The Princess of Floof by Joltage The Princess of Floof :iconjoltage:Joltage 9 3 NCMares 'It Is NOT A Habit' by Shuxer59 by Shuxer59 NCMares 'It Is NOT A Habit' by Shuxer59 :iconshuxer59:Shuxer59 1,392 248 Twilight Sparkle is shocked by abydos91 Twilight Sparkle is shocked :iconabydos91:abydos91 272 28 Princess Sockies by ShutterflyEQD Princess Sockies :iconshutterflyeqd:ShutterflyEQD 287 133 The Tickle Monster! by ShutterflyEQD The Tickle Monster! :iconshutterflyeqd:ShutterflyEQD 353 206 We Avoid Those by NCMares We Avoid Those :iconncmares:NCMares 1,703 93 Twishie by JetWave Twishie :iconjetwave:JetWave 87 6 NSFW Handmade Twilight Sparkle Plushie by NSFPlush
Mature content
NSFW Handmade Twilight Sparkle Plushie :iconnsfplush:NSFPlush 22 11
A treatment that suits a princess.. by NSFPlush A treatment that suits a princess.. :iconnsfplush:NSFPlush 4 0 33in standing Flutterbat [read description!] by qtpony 33in standing Flutterbat [read description!] :iconqtpony:qtpony 53 14 Rainbow Dash Starting plush by Fafatacle Rainbow Dash Starting plush :iconfafatacle:Fafatacle 185 47 Twilight Sparkle - handmade art-plushie by Piquipauparro Twilight Sparkle - handmade art-plushie :iconpiquipauparro:Piquipauparro 809 127 Twi in a Blanket by January3rd Twi in a Blanket :iconjanuary3rd:January3rd 806 53 Flutterbat by fireflytwinkletoes Flutterbat :iconfireflytwinkletoes:fireflytwinkletoes 221 29 You're SO cute! by ShutterflyEQD You're SO cute! :iconshutterflyeqd:ShutterflyEQD 472 189

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I think everyone enjoys a nice murder; so, tonight, Corpulent Brony Presents a special Halloween story: The Death of Trixie.  Please enjoy, and remember to thank our sponsors.

Happy Halloween!

Tell-Tale Trixie adapted from Tell-Tale Heart by Edgar Allen Poe.


I continue my new In the Closet video series with this latest on the Season 6 finale of MLP.  So what did I really think?

This finale shat all over the ponies I've grown to love over the last six years, and was a truly fitting end to the travesty that was season 6 of My Little Pony: Friendship Was Magic.  

OK, maybe it wasn't that bad, but I wasn't a huge fan, tbh.  Though on its own it was arguably a good episode, I just can't help but see it as a sign that the mane six are on the decline.  It's more than just "muh waifu twiley"; none of the ponies had any instrumental part to play in this episode.  It's really the first ep since numero 100 to feature background characters.  SO WHAT DOES THIS ALL MEAN???

RIP FiM?

fml



Thumbnail: Thumbnail for The End of FiM As We Know It by CorpulentBrony Script: Script for The End of FiM As We Know Itwe met under a nightmare moon, as the mysterious mare in the moon descended to earth. we all became friends and saved the day from eternal night, reuniting our princess with her long lost sister.  together with twilight sparkle, mother faust showed us that, as corny as it may sound, friendship might actually be magical.
and that magic culminated in the best night ever, where we realized that the best laid plans of mice and ponies often go awry, but sometimes for the best.  as long as we're together.
we met again to save equestria from the wiles of a chaotic demon.  though at first discouraged, we witness Twilight inspiring her friends to hope again, thus bringing about a return of harmony.
we then gathered with a reluctant Twilight to witness the wedding of her (unbeknownst to us) brother with the literal princess of love.  of course, this canterlot wedding was a sham, and though Twilight and her friends fought courageously to fend off the evil changelings, in the e


Oh hey, it's a real analysis video!  With Season 6 of MLP upon us, I figured it was about time I got back to making these videos.  I, for one, am excited for the new Starlight Glimmer Show starring Spike.  Yay.  Can't wait.  fmita

Do your friends talk crazy like this about your favorite purple pulchritudinous poindexter pony princess?  Having trouble explaining why Twilight Sparkle is not an actual Mary Sue or OP?  Well my friend, have you arrived at the perfect video opportunity for you!  Ensconced within the confines of this digital video you will find the answers to these perplexing problems that plague you!

Featuring my new life size Twilight Sparkle plush by :iconplushwaifus:.
TSIBP.


My initial thoughts on the finale episode with special guest The Marefriend, who shares a personal story about how important friendships can be.


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CorpulentBrony
Corpulent Brony
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The pony racial debates have become heated in recent years. So many wayward souls forget about the harmony and amity that should unite us and instead focus on asinine racial questions that engender only discord and enmity. Which race is superior? Why do unicorns tolerate pegasi? Why do earth ponies smell so bad?

Well my little ponies, I am here to elevate this discourse to a Hole Nutha Level. Today, in this video, I will prove to you without a shadow of a doubt that earth ponies are not only the most inferior of all pony races, but they are also complete and utter shit.

Wait! Before y’all rear up and try to buck me in the head, hear me out, please? I think you’ll find my argument quite persuasive.

As portrayed in the Season 2 episode Hearth’s Warming Eve and in the book Journal of the Two Sisters by Amy Keating Rogers, each race is imbued with its own particular magic. Earth ponies have an innate ability to grow things, pegasi can fly and control the weather, and unicorns are the literal embodiment of magic, the pinnacle of pony perfection personified, elite and elegant hornéd equines, magnificent- OK, you get the idea.

So unicorns are obviously amazing, and I guess pegasi are okay too, I mean being able to fly has its advantages, I suppose. So what makes earth ponies so superior at rape culture, along with the cultivation of other crops?

It was this question, once upon a midnight dreary, I pondered, weak and weary. Then, Eureka! As an idea materialized in my tiny simian derivative brain, a choir of angelic unicorns rang through my head, informing me that, lo!, I had discovered an Eternal Truth. What makes earth ponies so special is quite simple: Their shit. That’s right, their fetid fecund feces! Of course!  Why hadn’t it occurred to me sooner?

For thousands of years here on Earth we’ve used manure, most typically bovine, to fertilize our crops. It only makes sense that the horses themselves would’ve tried fertilization with their own dookie, and perhaps Earth pony dung is just the best there is.

I deliberated internally after this realization hit me while continuing to watch the aforementioned Hearth’s Warming Eve episode. Then I saw it: Chancellor Puddinghead. I-is that pudding on her head or is that pudding on her head?! Holy crap, it’s shit! HORSELUMINATTI CONFIRMED!!!

Why Earth Ponies Are S#!t - Script
This was the script for a fun little video I released on April 1st of this year (hint: APRIL FIRST).  Thought I'd upload it here to DA for posterity and also ponies.

The video: www.youtube.com/watch?v=ec4gM5…
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Wearing holiday sweater, with mug of some beverage which I am caught sipping at the beginning of the video in front of me. Christmas tree in back, dark outside to provide better contrast. Music: maybe something silly like crusader theme or the veldt FF song, or possibly some free Christmas music
Oh, hello everypony, Corpulent Brony here! Today I'm going to show all of you socially inept brony loser- I mean, all you beautiful wonderful people how to properly and professionally wrap a gift.

In order to wrap a present you must first acquire one.

Some of the more prosperous like to buy their gifts,
Shot of me dressed up and speaking all hoitey toitey with large roll of money.
others with more talent make gifts.
Shot of me trying and failing miserably to make something
I prefer giving things I own away, it's super classy and is a great way to recycle those items that you no longer really want.
Go through junk drawer or something, muttering to myself, "where that thing be at, I just know she'll love it, bitches love pieces of sh-"
When selecting a gift, don't worry about whether or not you'll be able to wrap it. I've wrapped all sorts of gifts. Long ones, abnormally shaped ones, even wriggling ones.
Show me wrapping cable, wrapping half eaten piece of bread, and wrapping a rat
Once you know what gift to wrap, the next step is to figure out what wrapping paper to use. Make sure it's adequate to the reason for wrapping, whether holiday, birthday, or some other occasion. And always ensure it's covered in ponies.
Show me selecting from various rolls of pony wrapping paper, deep in thought
Now, you're also gonna need some tape. Them rich folks like to use scotch tape, but you can also use duct tape or electrical tape or really anything else you may have lying around.
Show different tapes, would like to find the pony duct tape Maybe also throw in the BD lube, "Oops, how'd that get in here?"
The secret to wrapping a gift and making it look amazing is to not be afraid to use too much tape. Really there is no such thing.
Wrapped gift is covered in tape, multiple kinds
The final step is upon us, intrepid adventurer! Now you must find a worthy recipient to receive your professionally wrapped gift.
Show me handing gift to marefriend, "oh hey, I got you something, sugar cube"

She unwraps it, perhaps with some difficulty, to find a G1 pony that was hers. Reacts

Now with a black eye or some other injury

And that's how you wrap a present. Join me next time as we look into possible cures for black eyes. So long eery pony.
End video maybe in front of TV with fire Blu-ray playing, showing a crackling blaze. Über classy
How To Wrap a Present Corpulently - Script
Clearing out some old scripts and found this.  It was a ton of fon to make this video, I loved doing all the different outtakes.  Anyway, here's what I wrote beforehand as a script.  Not even sure if I ended up following it super religiously or not...

The video is here: www.youtube.com/watch?v=0SzrNJ…
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:iconconnorm1:
connorm1 Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2017  Hobbyist
Happy birthday and have a great day 
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:iconcorpulentbrony:
CorpulentBrony Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2017  Hobbyist Filmographer
Thank you!
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:iconconnorm1:
connorm1 Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2017  Hobbyist
Your welcome 
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:iconjessicapedley:
JessicaPedley Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2017  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Happy Birthday
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:iconcorpulentbrony:
CorpulentBrony Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2017  Hobbyist Filmographer
Thank you /)
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:iconjessicapedley:
JessicaPedley Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2017  Hobbyist Digital Artist
No problem dude :) 
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RetroGalicia Featured By Owner Dec 19, 2017  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
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:iconcorpulentbrony:
CorpulentBrony Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2017  Hobbyist Filmographer
Thanks /)
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:iconretrogalicia:
RetroGalicia Featured By Owner Dec 26, 2017  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
You're welcome! ( = 0 v < = )
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SpellboundCanvas Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2016  Student Digital Artist
Your Gallary has a nice variety to it.
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